I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
