4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
