Do you still have your period?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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