whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
