These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
