Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
