Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
