Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
