Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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