Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize