i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
