I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
