Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize