Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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