I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
