he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
