I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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