Actions speak louder than pants.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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