That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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