I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize