I think my fart just growled at me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
