Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize