just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
