Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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