I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
foreskin is a definite game changer
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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