hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
