I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize