Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
