why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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