Plan B is the new Plan A
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize