i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
