so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
