She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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