He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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