Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
