Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
