I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
