if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
