he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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