she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
