Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
