how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
