Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
