do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
