garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize