forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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