Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
