how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My Higher Power is John Stamos
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
