Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
