It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
