I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
