Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
