I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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