No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
