you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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