they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
