Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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