My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize