i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
