You're my little dorito
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
