i need an iv and a liver transplant
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
