Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
